An Unwanted First

On this journey of parenthood, there have been many firsts for us.  The first time we saw a picture of our boys.  The first time we made them laugh.  And the first meltdown.  No, not mine...I am talking about theirs.  Last night, we had a first we didn't want.   Our first trip to the ER, with a day ahead at Duke Children's Hospital.

What had started as a little cold, very quickly became something of concern.  Right at bedtime, John decided it was time to go...there was a slight rattle and he didn't like it.  Off they went, leaving me and the three older boys at home.  They, thankfully, were sound asleep.  So I worked, and did some things that needed to be done.  And then I realized...this is what helpless feels like.  Nothing I could do but wait.  So why not start making a video for a new listing, then a new blog?   (No, not the soapbox blog that my Twitter followers think I need so I will shut up...thank you very much!)  And I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.

Midnight, comes the call.  Early stages of pneumonia.  They are giving breathing treatments and steroids.  I am good.   John is with him, and says he is fine.  Then Nolan gets on the phone.  You see, THIS is 'my sweet baby'...as he has named himself long ago.  He loves his Daddy Dave, and I am pretty convinced this little guy hung the moon.  He says "I love you Daddy Dave" like he does several times a day.   He sounds a little tired, but okay.  They are going to watch him for awhile.  They hang up.   I cry.  Manly, yes, I am aware of that.

2:00am.  They may need to admit him.  Still breathing too fast.  Just watching.  Repeat our same conversation, and manly response.
4:00am.  Admitting him, as soon as they get a bed at Duke Children's.  Ditto, cry.
It's now 5:30.  Still waiting to be admitted.  He is finally asleep.

The clock isn't your friend when you are a parent.  It slows to a crawl when they are being wild, and races when they are in your arms.    I know 8:30 will come, I will drop his brothers at school, and will see that little face I adore by 9:00.  But right now, that seems like an eternity.

When did this little boy steal my heart?  Oh yeah.  I remember.  It was back in that first 'first'.  You now know my other secret.  I am a big sap.  No need to bring that to my attention.